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Wallet Abuse Wednesday 6-9-10: I don’t really care about Green Day all that much

Posted by nfinit on June 9, 2010

Disgaea Infinite
Publisher:  NIS America
Developer:  Nippon Ichi Software
Platforms:  PSP

The Disgaea universe confuses me.  On one hand most of the game world is populated with demons and angels that are obviously supposed to hold some sort of childlike charm to them, but are still weirdly developed and anyone over the age of 28 or so feels vaguely creepy playing a Disgaea game in public.  On  the other hand, Disgaea is also randomly populated with people who are obviously supposed to be adults:

In various states of undress.  So I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I know Disgaea is supposed to be porn, but I dunno what kind of porn it’s supposed to represent, and that bothers me.  Pick a side between lolis and adults, Disgaea!

So this isn’t a new SRPG at all, but rather one of those visual novels in the vein of Phoenix Wright that the Japanese are so keen on nowadays.  This might strike you as odd, but then you realize the last Disgaea game was Contra.  Contra with undead penguins.  so this makes perfect sense.

(For the sake of this entry please pretend this is in English. NIS America's website is charmingly useless and only provides no English screenshots of DI.)

If there’s one constant to Nippon Ichi, it’s its amazing artwork, and the static nature of an adventure game is the absolute best way to put those assets to best use

She puts the brass back in "brassiere"

Y’know.  Assets.  Anyway, I can’t really fairly judge Disgaea Infinite as adventure games/visual novels/what have you aren’t really my thing, but during my short time with Phoenix Wright  I grew to understand why people like them.

I think we can all agree that at some point NIS is going to run out of new directions to take Disgaea before the inevitable happens and we get Disgaea Kart.  Who do we have to petition to get a 2d fighting game before that happens and/or they totally poison the franchise by making Dead or Alive Prinny Paradise?

There are currently no review scores available for Infinite, although considering the nature of this game that probably doesn’t mean terribly much– you’re in this for the setting and the writing, not so much the gameplay.  So the merits of this game will rest entirely on the translation.  As NIS America makes their living porting this sort of stuff to American shores, that’s probably fine.

Green Day Rock Band
Publisher:  MTV Games
Developer:  Harmonix
Platform:  PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii

Harmonix never made it clear why Green Day was the natural successor to The freaking Beatles, nor why this disc wasn’t just sold as DLC like any other reasonable Rock Band song pack.  Anyway, there’s a few hints that even Harmonix isn’t really taking Green Day seriously.

1: It’s freaking Green Day

2: A week before GD:RB hit Harmonix started dropping info about Rock Band 3, including the new keytar

3: Seriously, it’s a disc of Green Day songs

4: No instruments were released with the disc.  This is of course a good thing as no one wants more plastic crap littering the den (and good luck getting Best Buy on board with giving up retail space to a non-numbered Rock Band in 2010), but even the Aerosmith pack for Guitar Hero got a crappy guitar.

However, you do get some of the great Beatles Rock Band-style interstitial movies based on Green Day’s history, and there’s no less than three full album’s worth of music included.  So if you’re a big Green Day fan then that’s all fantastic, it just seems an odd direction for the series to take when Harmonix tries to avoid the excesses that ruined the Guitar Hero name.

There’s a dearth of reviews for Green Day Rock Band, which considering we’re two days from release is either utterly meaningless or raises questions about its quality.  The 90% Game Pro review reads like a fan of Green Day itself wrote it whereas the Official Xbox Magazine balked at paying $60 for a glorified track pack and gave it 75%

Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker
Publisher:  Konami
Developer:  Kojima Productions
Platforms:  PlayStation Portable

So while no one was paying attention Kojima went and possibly produced the best Metal Gear Solid ever for the one system no one buys games for.

Peace Walker eschews traditional life bars for a mullet-based life meter.

Peace Walker looks like it’s combining all the best control elements of previous MGS games (which isn’t terribly difficult to do;  just make it so you don’t need four different button combinations to perform the rather basic videogame operation of shooting a dude) along with a weird mashup of Pokemon and Monster Hunter.  The gameplay is, like Portable Ops, multiplayer co-op based but you’re also expected to build Outer Heaven by collection soldiers and build your own personal Metal Gear out of spare parts.  I’m sure Snake will in no way regret this decision in years to come and/or this horrific unthinking killing machine absolutely will not awaken to try and eat everyone in late 70’s Costa Rica.

While these sound like intriguing concepts, I question the motives of a Metal Gear Solid game based around the idea of sound gameplay concepts.  I dunno about anyone else reading this, but I play MGS for batshit insane moments like the 30 minute late title card in MGS3.  Is one of the stalwarts of  single-player jank falling before the brutal co-op blade of Monster Hunter?

I agree with Giant Bomb’s Brad Shoemaker in that Peace Walker is probably best served on XBLA and PSN where it’s onboard co-op component can truely shine, but I’m mostly saying that because I took my PSP apart a couple weeks ago and I need to find some conductive copper tape before the screen will work right again.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11
Publisher:  EA Sports
Developer: EA Tiburon
Platforms:  PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii

I can understand the value that still lies within the Tiger Woods name, and had Tiger bounced back from his philandering scandal and started immediately winning tours again, keeping the Tiger Woods name on EA’s PGA game would have been a brilliant move.  But he’s not started winning.  In fact he’s tanking; sitting at #138 among all pros in the world in Fed Ex Cup Points and managed to hit three bystanders at The Memorial tournament at Dublin, Ohio. For whatever reason this makes Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11and its associate ad campaign seem all the more desperate and, well, skeevy.

Gotta hand it to EA though for sticking it out with Tiger in the face of scandal and overall shitheel behavior, joining the same brave, esteemed ranks as Goldline and IBM.
As far as the actual game?  As with the 2010 version, the Wii and PS360 version are two distinctly different games, with the Wii version touting to near 1:1 motion when used with Wii Motion Plus. and a new first-person view putting mode.  Also, minigolf!

You may think the live show ticket sales for the Mini Golf Pro Tour are abyssmal, but this is still a bigger gate than the average TNA show.

Instead of good controls and minigolf courses, the PS360 version gets graphics.

Sadly the Callaway's new Tassel Driver was banned from the Tour after repeated legal challenges from Macho Man Randy Savage and The Ultimate Warrior.

New for all systems is the Ryder Cup.  Apparently Team Golf Changes Everything, I dunno, I don’t play golf games that don’t involve FUCKING NINJAS.

Every bit of deserving of your love as Golden Tee; Ninja Gaiden; your grandmother

The following games will receive a sentence each and like it:

America’s Next Top Model (DS, from Crave) Finally, a glimpse into the cutthroat world of Beyblade convention Booth Babes.

Vacation Isle Beach Party (Wii; Warner Home Video Games) Sort of like DOA Paradise, but for Mormons.

Mega Man Zero Collection (DS; Capcom) I was going to write about this until I realized it was a collection of GBA Mega Man Zero games and not SNES Mega Man X games; now I just feel cheated.


One Response to “Wallet Abuse Wednesday 6-9-10: I don’t really care about Green Day all that much”

  1. Dandan said

    Srsly? Is this where we are on the DS now, making “collections” of GBA games? A platform whose primary purpose was collections of yet more games from other systems? This rabbit hole will not end; singularities are born this way.

    If you are able to procure basically any of the Disgaea games, you will not be disappoint. Not only is the writing and anime-graphics top-notch, the gameplay is an extremely competent grid-based tactics game. And it does manage to mostly dodge the bullet of being loli in that every character is effectively 1000 or so years old and demonic, with according motivations… world domination, murder, etc.

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