Videogames, politics, science, all the important things in life.

My bad; Rogue Warrior sucks donkeys!

Posted by nfinit on December 4, 2009

Remember where I said a couple days ago that maybe Rogue Warrior might turn out halfway decent as it’s an easy concept and the developer at least had some familiarity with the genre?  Yeah, about that:

Turns out  silently rolling out a game the Friday prior to the official launch is actually a bad indicator of game quality.  Who knew!

All of which is rather a shame.  Rogue Warrior could at least have been something of a spiritual successor to Soldier of Fortune II: Double Helix; instead it wound up possibly being worse in almost every single way, and SoFII was released back in 2002– this game is making mistakes not seen since early Xbox 1 FPS game, up to and including canned knife kill animations that make no account of the positioning of your character or your target.  It’s the sort of game that’s noteworthy entirely for being so remarkably awful and has provided us with a terrific Giant video review:

Wherein we learn that Rogue Warrior has introduced the phrase “goddamned cockbreath commie motherfuckers” into the gaming lexicon.  Which is lovely.  Really, it is, it’s probably the best thing to happen to videogames this year short of gay elf sex.

Speaking of which, sorry for the lack of updates this week, as Dragon Age has been sucking (hee!) most of my free time for the past three weeks and I’m maybe 3/4ths of the way through my first play-through.  I was planning on maybe picking up Assassin’s Creed II this week, but I realize I have a good 10-12 hours left in Dragon Age as I’ve not even killing actual dragons yet and I’ve only found three of the six Revenants.  This game is crazy and it’s going to bankrupt the rest of the WRPG industry as no one has time to play anything else, which sucks for Bioware as they basically are the WRPG industry at this point.

Anyway, hope to have the rest of the Top 15 of the year done sometime tomorrow.  Until then.


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