Bigredcoat

Videogames, politics, science, all the important things in life.

For your own good; redux.

Posted by nfinit on November 16, 2009

So remember back when Activision and their grovelling, hand-licking lackeys Infinity Ward announced that they were closing off private servers for all versions of Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2, making it impossible to play online on anything other than Activision’s own authorized servers?  Remember how we were told it was for our own good and that Activision’s only goal was to improve the player experience and how dare you concoct paranoid conspiracy theories involving paid content and the further console-ification of the PC market?  Sure you remember that, I spent like two weeks posting this picture:

(Not pictured: impoverished; weeping child begging for his guitar controller)

Well, knowing what Infinity Ward had done, and knowing how deliciously evil Activision is, what would you assume would be the worst possible outcome for this scenario?  Wait, don’t answer that– If you’re reading this I’m going to assume you’re the smart, savvy reader who already has some idea of the ultimate outcome of Activision’s fiendish mechanization.  Instead I’m going to ask the sort of slack-jawed, reefer-addled doofus that mainstream media has taught us represents gaming culture.  Hang on a second–

(Remind me to tell you all how Time Magazine allowed this guy to shit all over Shigero Myamoto. It was fantastic.)

Hey kids, it’s professional gamer Johnathan Wendel!

Alright, Mister Fatal1ty,  if we may begin by–

suuuuuuuup

Yeah, sup.  Johnathan, knowing what you know about Infinity Ward placing Call of Duty 6, Modern Warfare 2’s online component behind Activision’s own secure walls, what would you assume is the worst possible outcome Activision and Infinity Ward could then ultimately leverage this into?

Probably Activision using their immense pockets and PR skills to further justify the heartbreaking endemic of virgin rape currently ravaging Africa.

Okay.  Wow.  You’re much more savvy than I give you credit for, Johnathan Wendel.

Words hurt, you know.

Fair enough.  Okay, what’s the second worst possible thing to come about as a result of Activision making it impossible to play Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2 on anything but Activision’s own severs?

Oh, that's easy. Activision charging money to play online for services that are traditionally free.

DING DING DING!

And there you have it.  We all suspected Activision would use the immense popularity of COD6:MW2 to shut out free maps and mods, but this is particularly brilliant– Activision plans on blending Call of Duty in with its other money cow, World of Warcraft, into a soul-crushing orgy of profit that EA, Ubisoft, THQ and Take 2 can only look on with lip-slavering envy.  Yea, for truly it the end of times, just buy a 360 already, yadda yadda.

So I guess maybe it's too late to talk you into buying a Zalman CNPS9700LED Fatal1ty FC-ZE1 Champ1on Series Gaming Tower?

Die in a fire, ratface


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3 Responses to “For your own good; redux.”

  1. Viator said

    He looks like that kid who plays Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies.

  2. nfinit said

    But without as much dignity.

  3. Anonymous said

    As bas as I hate to admit it, Electronic Scavnger was right about 4 or so years ago when he said PC gaming was dieing off…

    I really , REALLY, hate when he’s right…

    Draf

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